


Halloween in Aperture

by SarcasticGayPotato



Category: Portal (Video Game)
Genre: Android GLaDOS, Chell wants her robo girlfriend to get in the halloween mood, Established Relationship, F/F, GLaDOS couldn't care less, semi crack fic, yet she still gets roped into all this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-27 11:29:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12580856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarcasticGayPotato/pseuds/SarcasticGayPotato
Summary: Chell attempts to bring the holiday spirit to Aperture, GLaDOS is not having it.*Originally posted to my tumblr, ask-glados-queen-of-aperture.





	Halloween in Aperture

“No.”  
  
This was not an uncommon word to GLaDOS’s tongue, but often wasn’t the first thing she said in the morning, regardless of her near constant bad mood, as if she was going to say something negative, she would at least make an effort to have it sound as well thought out and intelligent as possible.  
  
Taking the direct, blunt method was usually the course of action for the mute lunatic that stood in front of her. But sometimes, even GLaDOS made exceptions. Usually when the topic at hand was so ridiculous that she felt that she didn’t need to waste the energy on elaborating.  
  
This was one of those times.  
  
  
GLaDOS was not one to give much care to human holidays, only being aware of them passively for most of her existence, with the most she had ever actively done was using them as an excuse to perform various holiday themed experiments on whatever living creature she could cover in tinsel and set on fire.  
  
But having a human that you _weren’t_ going to kill or stuff with christmas lights to hang up outside meant that she was becoming drastically more aware of holidays and all of their… obnoxious traditions. Not willingly, mind you.  
  
When Easter came around she had to practically swat the rabbit ears off Orange and Blue, and for the fourth of July she had to deal with extensive firework-related damages. She had put up with both of those incidents- not without plenty of complaints broadcasted throughout the facility- but _this_ was where she drew the line.  
  
No matter how much that lunatic pouted at her.  
  
Chell frowned, though there was still a distinct sparkle of amusement in her eyes that told GLaDOS that she found this all very funny.  As the leaves turned colors and the surface grew colder, Chell found that _now_ was a good time to visit Aperture for awhile.  
  
She came and went, never being gone for longer than a month or so without at least stopping by for a day or so.  The human needed her freedom, and seemed to enjoy the time she spent with her fellow, disgusting kind.  However, be it stockholm syndrome or something else, some force kept bringing her back to GLaDOS, and it had just become routine at this point.  
  
Part of that included the holidays.  Now, why on earth Chell thought it would be more fun to force the holiday seasons on an android who couldn’t care less instead of spending it on the surface with other idiots, GLaDOS couldn’t say. A lunatic would be a lunatic, she supposed.  
  
But if Chell seriously thought this was going to work, GLaDOS was actually considering doing a brain scan to confirm her previous theories on it being damaged beyond repair.  
  
In Chell’s hands was a cheap looking plastic bag, covered in designs of pumpkins and bats, and the words ‘Halloween Costume’ written in big orange letters.   That wasn’t the part that bothered GLaDOS.  What bothered her was the slightly smaller text that went along with the provided picture of the bag’s contents.  
  
‘Sexy Scientist! _Experiment_ with an exciting new look this Halloween, and you’ll have _test subjects_ lining up to be _examined_ by you in no time!’  
  
Next to this was a picture of a woman that likely _wasn’t_ a scientist, shooting a playful smirk towards the camera and wearing a labcoat that was at least ten sizes too small, as well as a tiny skirt, fake glasses, and holding a clipboard with various things scribbled on it, all of which appeared to be incredibly bad, vaguely science related pick-up lines.  
  
For once, GLaDOS was extra thankful for building herself an android form, as that way, Chell could see the artificial muscles in her face twitch in disgust the more she looked at the thing.  
  
However, the former test subject was unaffected. She simply continued to hold it out to the core, eventually gesturing to herself, as if she thought that would convince GLaDOS.  
  
Where she was expecting GLaDOS to make a fool of herself _later_ that night, Chell had already gotten started on doing it to herself, as it seemed she had gone rifling through Aperture’s wardrobe of testing uniforms- reserved for _current_ test subjects only, mind you- and had taken to hacking at the thing with scissors to rip it up, practically covered it in fake blood, and decided that she was only going to wear the far shorter white tank top without the blue one underneath, as intended.  
  
When GLaDOS had asked a slightly less polite version of ‘what are you wearing?’ Chell had responded with a shrug and mouthing the words ‘ _Zombie test subject. Or something._ ’  
  
GLaDOS could only assume the crop top was only there to try and help convince GLaDOS to dress herself in a similarly tasteless fashion.  
  
Well, no matter how much Chell gave her puppy-dog eyes and pleaded, GLaDOS was _not_ going to wear that ridiculous costume.  
  
  
...Five hours later, GLaDOS was wearing the costume, with a very, _very_ pleased looking Chell at her side.  
  
GLaDOS had not done this lightly- or with any sort of enthusiasm- and had made certain that nobody would see her like this and that any camera feed of her in this wretched thing would be burned, under one condition.  
  
That night, she would get the chance to show Chell that she most certainly didn’t need a cheaply made costume to play the role of a sexy scientist.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Halloween!


End file.
